A Journey Ending

In the summer of 2001, we moved to Louisville so that Wes could attend The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. It's been many years of being challenged spiritually to grow and learn. At the same time, it felt like a never ending journey...one that seemed to go on year after year. And while we loved the seminary and Wes so enjoyed sitting under the teachings of such Godly men, we were feeling restless. Part of it was me ready to get back to school myself, and part of it was Wes ready to be done with school, period. Southern is known for academically challenging work, and the Masters of Divinity program, which Wes is in, is roughly 90 hours...compared to a roughly 30 hour program a typical school offers for a master's. It's not uncommon to hear laughter when a first year student comes in wearing rose colored glasses saying that he plans to finish school in 3 years. All in good fun, of course, but there's also a sense of "yeah, that's what we said too."

It had been a while since I had attended the seminary's chapel service. I had regularly attended when we still lived on campus, but since we've lived off campus, it's made it difficult to get over there. Wes works on Tuesdays and Thursdays (chapel days), and I wasn't going to walk during the winter and I needed to save my bus money for getting to work. But today was perfect. I had the day off, the weather was warm and beautiful, so I got up, got ready, and walked to chapel. I spotted some friends from church who are also seminary students and sat with them. There was such an awesome feeling of familiarity as we sang and worshiped our Lord. How I love going to the chapel service!! So while we were singing, I thought to myself, "I need to check my work schedule next week and try to come on over again." Then Dr. Mohler, the seminary president, announced it was the last service of the semester. I was stunned. I mean, I wasn't stunned that it was the last service of the semester...it's April 24th! But what stunned me was the date itself...it's April 24th!!

Wes graduates in 3 weeks. How the heck did time go by so quickly? After years of wondering whether we'd ever see a light at the end of the tunnel, we are now just about out of the tunnel and I'm sitting here thinking, "wait!" Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited about our upcoming move. But for the last 7 years, the seminary has been our home. How odd to think that we'll rarely see it any more after Wes graduates.

It blessed me to sit through chapel service and to be a part of it again. It saddened me to know it was the last one I'd be at and saddened me even more that Wes couldn't be there with me. After chapel, I walked to the cafeteria to grab some lunch. Wes and I used to eat there often when we still lived on campus...and some of my favorite moments were when I had class and would head over for an occasional early morning breakfast. After lunch, I walk to the seminary lawn and sat with my shoes off, enjoying the day and the sights. Soon after, I got up and walked back home.

I am not who I was 7 years ago when we began this journey...I barely recognize that person. And for that matter, Wes isn't the same person either. Being at the seminary has helped us grow as individuals, as a couple, and as followers of Christ. And while I spent a good amount of time telling Wes how nice and warm Florida is compared to Louisville throughout our 7 years, I really wouldn't have traded our time here. We love this seminary. Like a parent raises their child to one day say "go, it's now time to be an adult," so the seminary is now telling us "go, it's time to carry on your ministry." And funny how like I child I am, after so many years of saying "I can't wait to go," that I'm now clinging on and crying "but I'm not ready! We're just kids!!" But we're not kids, are we? Of course not. People always talk about the "real world" and how hard it is...sometimes it feels like that plus a hundred fold when it comes to the ministry's "real world." Fellow ministers and their families surely understand. So on one hand, I feel wide eyed and hopeful for the future. On the other hand, I'm like a scared kid asking "what now?" It's a weird feeling. But it's time. It's time to go in the confidence that God has laid out the path for us.

Seven years. I feel so blessed that God chose us to be a part of this incredible journey.

Alumni Chapel, SBTS

A Girl and Her Dream

Once upon a time there was a girl named Mary who wanted to do everything and be anything. Her career aspirations growing up changed, I don't know, weekly? Sounds about right. If something interested her, it wasn't long before the interest waned when something else grabbed her attention. Frustrated with the lack of direction in her life, she was ready to give up and face a reality of life in retail. Then late one night, she turned the tv on and watched an episode of "Caught in the Moment" that would change everything....

In case you couldn't tell, the above story is about me. For many years I felt like I had no real sense of direction in my life. I wanted to be everything from a dolphin trainer, to a teacher, to being involved in music (from singing to managing), to a sports therapist, and even a flight attendant (what can I say, I love to fly). But ultimately I would lose interest and just become bored. I was so frustrated since I was watching friends and even my husband pursue their callings in life. What was my calling? Surely there had to be something I was truly passionate about. Many women I knew would say "all I wanted to be was a wife and mother." And while I did want to be both (though the "mother" part took awhile for me to warm up to when I was growing up), there was also part of me that ached to be a part of something in addition to that. Where was my calling? Then in September 2006, I was up very late (as is my custom) and turned on the tv to Animal Planet (is there any other channel?). Caught in the Moment was playing, and the episode focused on elephants, Asian elephants in particular. It was already around 2am, but I was so fascinated by what I saw that I could not turn off the tv. The episode took place in Thailand, and they showed a scene in Chiang Mai. At a busy street market, they discovered a baby elephant being led through the streets and being used to beg for money. After all, who could resist a baby elephant. But my heart broke for this elephant, who was only 3 months old. She swayed in fear and stress and one of the hosts explained that an elephant's foot is very sensitive to vibrations...and on a busy street, the vibrations are overwhelming which must be terrifying the elephant. I found myself weeping for this baby elephant, wanting so badly to reach through the tv and take her away from this horrible situation. I was almost to the point where I couldn't watch any longer when they turned their attention to an elephant sanctuary. Here these elephants have suffered through abuse such as the street walking and even the logging industry...and cases of physical abuse against them that would make you cringe. But these elephants had a new story to tell. They were living out the rest of their lives in peace, and they were being treated with love and respect. This was it. I found my calling.

It's been just over a year since I've seen that episode and thinking about it still brings tears to my eyes. I don't know that I can ever forget the sight of that baby elephant swaying in distress. Since then, I've been reading up on elephants as much as I can. I do personal studies on them since I'm not yet in school. Wes will call me into the room whenever he sees a program on elephants on tv. My dream is work with the elephants at Disney's Animal Kingdom. It was a real blessing to me when Wes came up to me one day and said "You have to get your degree, do the college program at Disney, and go the elephant school." He was helping me lay out a plan to live out my dream. For the record, the elephant school is a two week program at a sanctuary in Arkansas that gives hands on experience to those who are interested in working with elephants. It's a pricey program, set at $1800, but that includes your room, food, and all the resources for the school. Next fall, I begin school and take that first step to fulfilling this dream. I'll also be looking for a program to become a certified naturalist. One day you will see a picture of me with a huge smile on my face as I stand with a gorgeous elephant. There is something so amazing about them...so majestic...so emotional (and I mean that on my part and the elephants part...their emotional lives are amazing).

For the first time in my life, I have felt absolute content for what I want to do. And I have found that passion I was looking for. Yes, I have passion in other areas of my life, but I meant a passion for a career. I heard God's calling in my life. It's not a conventional calling. I can't imagine very many people sitting on a couch at 2am when all of a sudden a tv program makes them realize what God is leading them to. I love it. I love how God uses unexpected but simple moments like that.

I am a conservative conservationist. The term may seem like an oxymoron to some of my brothers and sisters in Christ. And it wouldn't surprise me if, at times, I was thought of as a tree hugger. So be it. I am proud of where God has led me and I get so excited about what I learn and where He continues to lead me. I sometimes laugh at how strange it seems that one day I'll be the elephant saving wife of a pastor. I was 25 years old when I saw that "fateful" episode. I will be 27 when I start school. By the time I'll get to (prayerfully) work with elephants regularly as their keeper, I'll be in my 30s. That's a long journey from where I first started as an aimless wanderer. But it will be worth it. It IS worth it. Whether it's the ministry, or it's being a doctor, or it's working with an elephant...the road to fulfilling the call in our lives is incredible. I can't see myself doing anything else. It's amazing the peace and contentment there is when you know, "this is what I should be doing!"

A Natural Calling

Saturday evening, Wes & I had the awesome experience of getting some photos done of us. Aside from the occasional photo of us from vacations that random strangers took or that we took of ourselves by outstretching our arms, we haven't had any photos done of us since our wedding. So this was a real treat for us. It's really nice to have so many photos with my husband and not just of one of us while the other is taking the picture! We were asked to pick a location of where we wanted to have our photos taken. After some thinking (and then deciding if we should do two locations), we ultimately went with Cherokee Park here in Louisville. The reason was kind of two fold...though we haven't done it recently, we would take picnics at the park and usually go walking along a particular trail. In fact, all the photos done of us are on this exact trail. The other reason was because of our deep love for nature. When I was told to think of a location for the photo shoot, I knew right away that I wanted lots of green in the photos...grass, trees, bushes, etc...as long as it was nature.

Wes and I (though primarily me) have a passion for God's creation and being good stewards of the environment He has given us to live in. My passion has been so sparked up in me that I am now pursuing a dream of working with wildlife. Career-wise, there is nothing more thrilling to me than to work with an animal and know that I am caring for it and working to conserve and protect where it comes from. Few things hurt and anger me more than to see and hear about the callous and cruel treatment and views of animals. I was heartbroken when I learned that the Baiji dolphin had become extinct, primarily due to humans. I cried when I heard of when a person had tortured a couple of rats. And poachers? Don't even get me started. Without hesitation I would put myself in between an elephant and a poacher in order to protect that elephant. There's no question in my mind about. Yes, I receive weird looks when people realize that about me. Sometimes I had wondered to myself if Wes viewed me as " that crazy animal woman" as well. Then we took a marriage enrichment class and on the first night we all were to say one thing we loved so much about our spouse. Wes said "I just love that Mary has such compassion and love for the tiniest mouse all the way up to the largest elephant." Yup, those were the exact words...I remember them word for word because how much it meant to me. And Wes may not be on the same passion level as I am (and that's quite fine), but I love that we have conversations about animals, nature, and the environment. I love that I can talk to him about this stuff and not have him call me "tree hugger" as if it were some insult. In fact, the evening of our photo shoot, Wes & I joked on how we should take a picture of us embracing trees just for fun.

This Tuesday will mark the year anniversary of the death of one of my heroes. His death really put things into perspective for me. As I reflect back on how distraught I was over how someone who was fighting to save the creation of God could die so young (though I do not know if he was saved as he never publicly discussed the topic), it really reminds me of something: that I do not know when I will be called home...so how will I use this time now? I can almost hear God ask, "What if it were next year? What are you doing now to live out the passion I put in your heart?" This passion was not placed on my heart by chance...God put it there. When I die, I want people to say that I was faithful to God and that I lived out what He called me to do. And in all honesty, while I'm alive, I want people to say that I am faithful to God and that I am living out what He is calling me to do. I pray that I can be that kind of light to the world.

I wanted nature for our photo shoot location. It best represented us...it represents me. I was asked if I minded sitting on the ground since I was wearing a skirt. Goodness no I don't mind. I feel most in my element in nature and sitting among it. These pictures are a physical and visual reminder of the calling in my life and the passion in both mine & Wes' lives.

Thank you, Kara, for capturing not just our images...but capturing us.

Photo by Kara Guffey